The Reluctant Weapon Read online

sufficiently to hit the discomfited Lord of Warwith a pebble when Tresqu was not watching.

  The Weapon had drifted into sight during this exchange, floating outof a shady hollow, as if blown by a breeze. It was very simple inappearance--an impalpable three-foot glowing sphere with a squatmetallic cylinder at its base.

  "Tell me not the purpose of your visit, petty lord!" It said. "It isknown to me only too well. Ah, great First Principle! Little did Ireck when, in ages past, I nursed your species to civilization, justhow poorly you would serve my purpose. Peace it was I desired, but doI get it? No! Your kingdom is powerful, but you have not the strengthto handle your own troubles. You rule twenty-nine planets--"

  "Thirty-seven," corrected Tresqu politely.

  "--thirty-seven planets, but when a malignant force appears on yourborders, I, the Weapon, must be called upon to act in my own defense,and for the sake of a few more restful moments in this calm glade, Iam obliged to destroy, yet it was to avoid destroying that I helpedyour species to empire in the old days."

  "In truth," spoke the deeply sympathetic Tresqu, "yours is a sadstory. I disturb your richly earned rest only after the sincerestsoul-searching. But affairs of state are at cross purposes in a momentof crisis, and without your help Hova will be in danger."

  "Ah, cruel Fate!" entoned the Weapon, "It aids me in no manner toprotest against your inscrutable machinations! There is no turningaside, no avoidance of necessity!" In a less declamatory style, theWeapon addressed Tresqu: "Very well, what is the trouble?"

  Tresqu described the events on Terra for the Weapon, concluding, "Nowthat the Humans have knowledge of our space drive and armament, theyare certain to attack, especially if they realize they have beensubjects for experiment."

  The Weapon flitted about restlessly along the bank of the brook. "Iquestion the motives of my own thoughts. Do I quibble with myself inan attempt to escape unwelcome necessities? Tell, petty lord, do yourscientists confirm the picture you paint of the Humans? Are they, likeyou, alas, masterfully vicious enough to destroy the peace of dozensof planets for nothing but revenge?"

  "So the scientists say, mighty Weapon," answered Tresqu.

  "You, Lord of War, why are you silent when your face is strained withwords crying for expression?" asked the Weapon. "Speak your mind."

  Wert squirmed. "If it please Your Mightiness, and you, Your GraciousWisdom, I believe the Humans will know that we desire theirdestruction, and will try to defeat us for the sake of their ownsurvival rather than revenge."

  "A most convincing point, Lord of War," said the Weapon.

  Tresqu flashed a forgiving smile at Wert while the Weapon pausedbefore continuing:

  "However, I fear my unwilling spirit refuses to bow to the mostreasonable of arguments. Please leave me; solve the problemyourselves!"

  Tresqu bowed and moved toward the cruiser. "We obey, Mighty Guide ofour fathers. Let me say in parting that I, too, am grieved by ourtalk, much more because of the pain our visit has caused your noblegreatness than because our race is threatened with annihilation. Mydeepest hope is that the ravages of war will never reach this peacefulplace which is so dear to your gentle being."

  "Wait!" groaned the Weapon. "To slay, or not to slay, that is thedilemma. Ah, had my old masters of Zoz only left within my powers theseed of my own destruction, I would gladly seek the consummation ofultimate peace. But, no, that door is closed to me by deathless locks.Bring me a Human, that I may learn to hate him. Choose the mostignoble specimen available. I will converse with him at length so asto become exasperated with all the despicable traits of his race.Then, in my contempt for those traits, I will be able to cleanse theUniverse of all Humans."

  Tresqu turned quickly to his Fool. "Are there any Humans on Hova?"

  "Yes, in the biological research laboratories."

  "Then go quickly, Fool, and fetch one. This is a grave matter, and Itrust you to choose the most monstrous specimen available. Hurry!"

  The Fool ran into the cruiser and was on his way, leaving Tresqu,Wert, and several guardsmen with the Weapon. If the Weapon wasconscious of the fact that the Lord of Hova was staying behind out ofcourtesy, it did not show it. Instead, it wandered indifferently away,mumbling a soliloquy of guilt and misery.

  * * * * *

  The sight of the Fool's specimen of humanity repaid Tresqu for thetediousness of the waiting. It was a particularly sordid-lookingcreature with a dirty growth of hairs on its head and face. Its body,thin as the Fool's, but with no compensating grace of movement, wasclad in a blue garment of roughly woven vegetable fibers, and theextremities of its nether limbs were enclosed in evil-smelling boxesof animal hide. Its fierce eyes darted ominously from one Hovan toanother. Its jaw kept working in a slow rhythm, and occasionally astream of black liquid exploded through its mouth.

  "You have done well, Fool," said Tresqu. "You will be rewardedhighly." Raising his voice he called, "Mighty Weapon, your specimenawaits!"

  "I come!" Once more the Weapon floated into view.

  The Earthman's jaw sagged. "'Y God!" he muttered in English, staringat the approaching Weapon.

  "Indeed," said the Weapon, "this appears to be a creature I couldlearn to abhor and kill. If only its thoughts equal itsappearance--Speak, Human!"

  The man said nothing.

  "Mighty Weapon," murmured the Fool, "this Human is truly an ignoblemonster. He has been in captivity for five years and has yet to speaka word of our beautiful language instead of his own barbaric tongue."

  "You fool!" shouted Tresqu. "How is the Weapon going to converse withhim? Why did you bring one that cannot talk?"

  Not in the least disconcerted, the Fool replied, "As you ordered, goodmaster, I brought the worst specimen available. However, thepossibility of linguistic difficulties was not overlooked. I have herea dictionary of his language, recently compiled by our Alien Affairsstaff." He produced a large volume of manuscript from beneath hiscloak.

  "Your Fool shows wisdom, petty lord," spoke the Weapon. "I will studythis book. Know the language, know the people, it is wisely said. Infact, I originated that saying myself some three thousand years ago, Ibelieve. Unship any supplies brought for the Human and begone. Threedays will suffice for the arousal of my wrath. Return then."

  "As you wish, O Mightiest of All." Tresqu bowed gawkily. "It is mymost ardent desire, Wondrous Guide, that we, your servants, will notbe obliged to disturb your peace again for a thousand centuries, oncethis affair is concluded."

  "And mine," the Weapon snapped crossly. "Now leave me."

  * * * * *

  The man watched the Hovans enter their cruiser and fly away. Lookingat the Weapon hovering nearby, he squatted on his heels and pulled upa blade of purple grass to chew. Minutes passed in silence. Then theWeapon moved away, the book bobbing along behind, supported by someunseen force.

  When it was out of sight, the man muttered, "'Y God, I've sawfireballs in my time, but that's the first one I ever saw settin' in abucket!"

  After a thoughtful examination of his surroundings, the man stood upand walked to the packing cases the Hovans had left. All but onecontained the synthetic food product to which he had grown accustomedin his five years of captivity. The other box, rather small, containeda shredded vegetable which served him as a poor substitute for chewingtobacco. Purple when growing, the leaves of this vegetable wereblue-black when cured, making his frequent expectorations look likeink.

  "Filthy damn stuff!" he grunted, stuffing several handfuls in an emptyoverall pocket.

  He shuffled down to the brook and tested its temperature with a hand.Finding it rather cold, he decided against taking a bath. Instead, hespat into it and watched meditatively as the spot of black was carrieddownstream. "I wonder what they turned me loose for," he monologued.

  Careful to avoid the spot where the Weapon appeared to have gone, hereturned to the food supply and ate. By then it was getting dark, andhe bedded down for the night on some thick grass unde
r a tree.

  "'Y God," he yawned, "I'm glad all these insects don't want nothin' todo with me."

  The Weapon was waiting beside him when he woke up next morning. "Eyesof your Terran Deity," it said, "I shall now converse with you in yourown tongue. Name yourself, creature!"

  * * * * *

  The man sat up startled. A moment passed before he said, "I'mJake--Jacob Absher. What was that you said?"

  "My pronunciation is above reproach, Jacob. Therefore I will notrepeat myself. Attend me closely or I shall punish you."

  "'Y God, I heard you all right and